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Steamed Hams but it's Timothy Goes to School
(ding dong) * (Miss Appleberry opens the door to her condo to reveal Mrs. Jenkins and Mr. Jenkins) * Mrs. Jenkins: Well Jennifer, we made it, even though your handwriting for the directions was sloppy. * Miss Appleberry: Ah! Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins! Welcome! I hope you two are prepared for an unforgettable luncheon! * Mr. Jenkins: Okay then. * (The two foxes sit down while Miss Appleberry walks in to her kitchen, only to see smoke emitting from her oven) * Miss Appleberry: *gasps* (opens the oven door and sees her roast beef on fire) My god, my roast is ruined! * (Miss Appleberry looks outside and notices a McDonald's outside) * Miss Appleberry: Wait a minute, I think I could get some McDanks and fool the Jenkins duo. *giggles* I'm such a bozo! * (Miss Appleberry is about to climb out the window, when the Jenkins burst in) * Mrs. and Mr. Jenkins: (at once) Ahem! * Miss Appleberry: The Jenkins! I was just... ummm... doing isometric exercise! Care to join me? * Mrs. Jenkins: Doctor Balasubramaniam has forbidden me to do exercise like that. I can only do simple exercises, like yoga and running. But not dark yoga, that could kill me! * Mr. Jenkins: And why is there smoke coming out of your oven? * Miss Appleberry: No Barry and Fiona, it's the steam from the Steamed Clams we're having! Mmmmm-mmmm, steamed clams! * (The Jenkins leave the room) * Miss Appleberry: Phew! * (Miss Appleberry climbs out the window and runs down the sidewalk to McDonald's) * (The two foxes are in the dining room as Miss Appleberry bursts in with a platter of McDonald's Double Quarter Pounders and fries) * Miss Appleberry: Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, prepare for some burgers! * Mrs. Jenkins: Jennifer, I thought we were having steamed clams! * Miss Appleberry: No, I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers. * Mrs. Jenkins: You call hamburgers steamed hams? * Miss Appleberry: Yes. It's a regional dialect. * Mr. Jenkins: Uh-huh. * Mrs. Jenkins: Uh, what region? * Miss Appleberry: Uh, the Greater Boston Area of Massachusetts. * Mrs. Jenkins: Really. Well, I'm from Lowell, and my husband is from Martha's Vineyard, and neither of us have never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams." * Miss Appleberry: Oh, not in Lowell or the Vineyard, no. It's an Bellingham expression. Now eat up! * (the Jenkins and Appleberry eat the burgers) * Mrs. Jenkins: You know Appleberry, these taste like the ones they serve at McDonald's! * Miss Appleberry: Nah, Patented Apple-Burgers, old Appleberry family recipe. My mama used to make them. * Mrs. Jenkins: For steamed hams. * Miss Appleberry: Yes. * Mr. Jenkins: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. * Miss Appleberry: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- ..Excuse me for one second. * (Miss Appleberry walks into her kitchen) * Mr. Jenkins: Of course. * (Miss Appleberry walks out the kitchen) * Miss Appleberry: *yawns* Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. * Mrs. Jenkins: Yes. Me and Barry should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? * Miss Appleberry: Aurora borealis? * Mrs. Jenkins: Uh- Aurora borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of New England, localized entirely within your kitchen? * Miss Appleberry: Yes. * Mr. Jenkins: May we see it? * Miss Appleberry: Mmmmm, no. * (The foxes and Miss Appleberry walk out) * Lilly: Auntie Appleberry! Your house has this hot orange stuff flickering everywhere! * Miss Appleberry: No, Lilly, it's just the northern lights. * Mrs. Jenkins: Well, Jennifer, you are an odd fellow, but we must say, you steam a good ham. * Lilly: Um... HELP!!! Category:Steamed Hams Category:Timothy Goes to School